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What does the research say?
The
term, "marriage dividend," comes from a body of research that found
benefits that are unique to married individuals. Married people in these studies
were found to have greater net worth, better health and work-life
balance, as well as higher overall life satisfaction. For instance, the
net worth of married people rises much faster than that of their single
or divorced counterparts, according to a study published by Ohio State
University researcher Jay Zagorsky."There are great economies of scale
in being married," says Zagorsky, boiling the results down to the fact
that two can live cheaper than one. Couples in the study also saw their
worth increase by 4% a year "just as a result of being married," when
all other factors remained the same.
This research may seem to
contradict the distress we hear about for many couples and the
statistics that report 40% of first marriage and 60% of second
marriages end in divorce. A
recent study (October 2007) in the Archives of Internal Medicine reports that marital strife and other bad personal
relationships may contribute to a raise in one's risk of heart disease. In the study of
9,011 British civil servants, most of them married, those with the
worst close relationships were 34% more likely to have heart attacks or
other heart trouble during the 12 years of follow-up than those with
'good' relationships, including close relatives and friends as well.
This follows previous research that found health problems associated
with being single and having few close relationships. So being married
is good for you, but as common sense may indictate, the quality of the
relationship matters.
Things are going well! Why Now?
This isn't marriage counseling, these classes are just information and skills. It may seem early but getting help when things are going well makes the most sense. You have energy to put towards the relationship and you care about making your partner happy.
An additional group of studies
suggest that the seeds of marital distress and divorce are there for
many couples when they say, "I do." These studies suggest that
premarital (or early marital) variables can predict which couples will
do well and which will not, with accuracies of 80% up to 94%.
(Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 1997; Fowers, Montel, & Olson,
1996; Gottman, 1994; Karney & Bradbury, 1995; Kelly & Conley,
1987).
The first years are typically easy because couples brush the difficult topics under the rug. So can these "seeds
of marital distress" be addressed in a way to improve a couple's
chances of success? Evidence from a four state survey of over 3000
homes representing a wide range of economic, ethic and cultural
groupings in Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas and Kansas found that
premarital counseling can help to support healthy marriages. Couples in
the survey that participated in premarital counseling were, on
average, 31% less likely to divorce in any given year of their marriage
than couples who did not benefit from this counseling. They were also
more likely than un-counseled couples to report higher marital
satisfaction, lower marital conflict and greater levels of commitment.
(from
Attending pre-marital counseling classes really does pay off by Mark
Dombeck, Ph.D.: Fri, Jun 16th 2006 - 02:31:40 PM reporting about The
Journal of Family Psychology (March 2006, Vol. 20, No. 1, 117-126) by
research psychologist Scott Stanley, titled "Premarital Education,
Marital Quality, and Marital Stability: Findings From a Large, Random
Household Survey.")
Premarital
classes typically cover topics like how to handle conflicts, how to
come to agreement on marital decisions, and how to communicate well;
however, financial strategies are typically not a part of pre-martial
curriculum. A study by the Creighton University Center for Marriage and
Family suggests that time, sex and money pose the three biggest
obstacles to satisfaction in the lives of newly married couples. The
study found that debt brought into marriage, the couples' financial
situation, balancing job and family, and frequency of sexual relations
were of greatest concern.
(From
www.creighton.edu/MarriageandFamily/. "Time, sex, money biggest
obstacles for young married Couples "By Mark Pattison, Catholic News
Service.)
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Isn't this expensive?
Some may feel that the cost of premarital
counseling or a class is costly.
Private counseling may cost a couple around a $1,000 for 8 "hours," or sessions of help. However, even $3,000 is a minimal investment compared to the financial costs of divorce, which are estimated to average between $10,000 and $25,000. And of course $350 is probably less than 1% of many couples' budgets for their wedding.
Is your relationship worth the investment? Of course it is.
A review of this body of research suggests that premarital classes that include financial information could yield even greater
results for couples as it offers both the critical emotional strategies
that indicate a difference, as well as addressing the financial issues that may lead to marital stress.
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